This is a question I have asked myself a lot, especially since I started teaching some years ago. Like in any other area of life, rejection is part of the evolving process in the music industry as well. Everyone has probably experienced it one way or another, and we understand its meaning after it happens.
A while ago I looked for stories of successful people describing their ups and downs and how they 'navigated' through those sensitive moments. At the time, I did not know what success meant for me. However, not finding such a story, made me feel I was looking for the impossible. Seeing only the glamorous side of each successful story made me feel as if those successful people were extraordinarily privileged and supported by life itself in a separate bubble. Feelings of inadequacy have brought a constant comparison in my mind for a while, until I have started working on myself.
How do we deal with seeking validation outside ourselves? By 'dealing with it' I mean 'transmuting' it into progress.
It is all about mindset and how we approach our experiences.
Define what success means for you. It is a very personal journey for which there are no recipes.
Notice when you start seeking validation outside yourself, from your family, teachers, agents, schools, institutions, etc.
The music industry is full of people asking for external validations, recommendations, followers, etc. One can easily fall into the trap of constantly looking for external validation versus seeing those experiences as tools to grow beyond them, regardless of their result. The mindset makes the difference. In other words, detach yourself emotionally from results, whichever they are. A few things that have helped and continue to help me are the following:
Ask & answer yourself honestly why you keep thinking that limiting thought. Go as deep as you can with questioning yourself 'why?' and keep the focus on your emotions and thoughts. Your feelings are your answers. Notice what comes from your wounds and what comes from your motivations by how it feels when you are aware of them.
Accept that feeling, whichever that is, and liberate yourself from what does not serve you.
You can re-programme your mind to think in a way that serves you, by allowing yourself to do all the things you aim to do, step by step.
Focus on your characteristics, be conscious of them and make use of them.
Do what you love to do and dedicate yourself to it so you do not feel like working.
Ask yourself what you love to do, if you do not know. Combining your hobbies, profession(s) and your characteristics can result in creating your own niche.
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